In Pursuit of Sustenance

As I type this, sweat is still clinging to my back. My hair is damp, and the exhaustion is creeping up on me like a thief in the night. A perfect testimony to my lack of physical shape, it feels as if I've just reached the summit of a tall mountain and gone back down again. In reality we only walked a few miles and back. The heat was scorching, the sun sending its bright light right (try saying that 10 times fast) into our faces. I had considered doing a rain dance in the middle of the street. Even some cloud cover would have been acceptable. Maybe some wind. How much is that to ask? In the almost three months that I've been here, I can count on one hand how many times it's rained.

Anyway, enough about the weather. The question is: why? Why did we do this? The exercise? Sort of. Lack of transportation? Yeah, that's part of it. I've given the most important reason away in the title, of course. We were hungry.

The chosen restaurant: Five Guys Burgers and Fries.

Zach went there for his birthday last year and told me about it since I was over 2000 miles away at the time. Today was my first time there, after bugging him to go for the last couple weeks. I'd read all kinds of great things about it, mostly on The Consumerist, and read some not-so-great things. Those mostly came from the Californians spoiled by In-N-Out Burger. I've been to California twice, and still haven't tried it. Maybe someday...but I digress.

When we finally reached the place, we were drenched in sweat and ready to kiss the inventors of deodorant and air conditioning.

The interior at this location looked very clean, which was immediately a plus. It was semi-crowded, but I'd expected more people at dinner time on a Friday evening. Also a plus, since I was starving and too many people make me feel claustrophobic.

The inside is decorated in a red and white color scheme, with praises from a variety of sources plastered on the walls. Okay, so you've shown me several reasons to have high expectations before I even have the food in my hands. Now prove them right.

The prices are fairly high, which is a minus. For two "little" bacon burgers (one patty instead of two), two drinks, and one regular order of Cajun fries, it set me back over $17. The bright side is that there's a big list of toppings that one can choose from, all free, and free refills on the drinks. If I hadn't consumed a few cups of pop, then I doubt the meal would have been filling enough for me. Then again, I have a voracious appetite. The regular fries were said to feed two people; I definitely felt like I needed my own. Most people probably would be satisfied, though. But, considering the price, it should be enough for anyone. Next time I hope I can afford one with two patties.

My burger was essentially like a steak on a bun.

Toppings: onions, grilled mushrooms, lettuce, green peppers, A1 steak sauce, and hot sauce.

For the most part, it was delicious. The Cajun fries were even better than I expected. The main problem was with the bun. It fell apart. I've seen other complaints about that, so I know it's not just one bad bun. Zach's was doing the same thing.

Pros: Lots of free toppings, free refills, friendly staff, clean interior, yummy fries

Cons: A little expensive for those with limited budgets (like yours truly), buns that fall apart, extensive use of peanut oil. The last isn't actually a con for me, but would be for those with peanut allergies. There are also peanuts sitting out for people to snack on while they wait or with their food. Definitely an allergy danger zone. I can relate. I almost died at Red Lobster once.

Overall, I would recommend it if you're tired of run of the mill fast food burgers and fries, like to get creative with your food, and have a little extra money to spend. They also serve hot dogs and vegetarian options. I will definitely be going there again sometime.

(Also, I didn't notice, but Zach told me that some creeper was staring at my ass while I was there. I NEVER notice things like that. Most of the time I'm completely oblivious to my surroundings. Oops.)

Oh, and my 'R' key isn't sticking anymore.

Noodles For Fatso

The role of "Fatso" will be played by myself in this production. "Noodles" will be played by the delicious egg noodles that are now being eroded by my stomach acid.

I cooked tonight. There was no fire. Nothing was even burnt. Culinary brilliance has been achieved once again. We've got the tools, we've got the talent! It's Miller time! HUZZAH!

Although...part of the chicken did look questionable...but we'll pretend that didn't happen.

I'm dead tired right now, to the point where I could start hallucinating at any time. I have such a big mess to clean up, so while I'm doing that there will be a purple rabbit in a top hat reading the newspaper and conversing with me about the weather. Good times.

Meanwhile, writer's block still sucks worse than a two-dollar hooker with herpes and OCD strikes my blog once again.
I'm also saddened to know that I won't be seeing Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince until next week because I suck at life and can't drive myself to the theater. Happiness denied. Until Friday.

Peace, love, and bacon grease. I'm getting some damn sleep and hoping that the massive zit on my face (it knows where it is) will GTFO by tomorrow because it looks diseased. Stupid, stupid skin. No wonder I was invited to join the nearest leper colony. I'd fit right in.