Being Too Close To Nature, Plasma Facilities, and Hungry People

WARNING: This post might be a bit lengthy. I probably deserve every tl;dr that I might get. Read on, if you dare.

Well, hello again. Since my last update I've been pretty busy with various things. They range from the mundane (eating, toileting, sleeping, marathoning Dragonball and Dragonball Z, etc.) to I-can't-believe-this-is-happening (read on for that stuff).

Firstly, last weekend was spent "donating" plasma and then drifting in and out of consciousness, feeling like death. Was it worth the $85 (Zach made $50; I made $35)? Damn straight. The more excruciating part was the many hours in the waiting room and various testing rooms, where they made us repeat our names, addresses, and social security numbers as if we were some kind of amnesiacs. Then we had to prove we were literate a couple times, followed by a bunch of health questions and physical examinations. The bright side? After some typical Hugh Grant movie finally decided to get off the screen, they showed MRS. DOUBTFIRE!!! One of my favorite movies of all time. Too bad I missed most of it because of the various exams and interrogations. :(

While we were in the donating stage, Major Payne came on, which royally pissed me off. The movie, in case you aren't familiar with it, begins with George Thorogoods' "Bad to the Bone." There is a certain other fabulous piece of cinematic genius that also begins with that song. It's about this adopted redheaded boy who gets in a lot of trouble and causes all kinds of problems for the kind, loving, and handsome man who just wanted to be a great dad, but gets shit on by everyone he knows, because apparently that town is full of asshats. Problem Child. I was really, really hoping that I was about to have the presence of John Ritter soothing me in a time of extreme anxiety. But noooooo. Damon Wayans had to ruin everything. If they had to show a movie starring him, why wasn't it Earth Girls Are Easy? Then I could have been comforted by Jeff Goldblum's presence, at least. Bah.

I decided on listening to Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds instead, which helped for awhile...until the numbness spread throughout my body. I begun to panic, nearing hyperventilation. My brain stopped functioning temporarily; I still don't recall turning off my iPod. By the time the phlebotomist came to help me, I had lost my hearing. Apparently we had not eaten enough beforehand, which can cause some nasty side effects such as this. I thought I was okay after a few minutes of rest. But then I collapsed outside the clinic, alone and starring in a one-man slapstick show. We haven't gone back since then, but hopefully it will be better next time.

Thursday held a trip to downtown for Pig Out in the Park. I love food, and I love downtown. Unfortunately...waaaaaay too crowded for my liking. I expected it, but I deal with it much better when I'm not actually experiencing it. Crowds make me claustrophobic.

Zach & I had some yummy Chinese food. My one complaint is that their egg rolls were called "The best egg rolls ever." Now, when somebody makes a claim like that, it had better be true. They were quite good, but I've had better. The ones my mom & I used to make were honestly the best ones I've had so far (and I've consumed soooo many egg rolls in my lifetime). That's not being conceited or anything. Just my opinion.

Also, we've decided that once we can afford an apartment, we're going to try to move downtown. It's surprisingly cheaper than I thought.

So then we decided to go camping for the weekend with Zach's parents, his sister, and her boyfriend. I've realized that I'm more of a nature lover in theory than in practice, for one reason. Just one. INSECTS. They were horrible.

There were some good times: S'mores, taking photographs, seeing all the cute squirrels run around, getting drunk and playing a rousing game of Balderdash...

And then there were bad times.

Bees. Mosquitoes. Flying ants. EVERYWHERE. All over me, all over the food, all over everyone else...if there is one thing I cannot stand, it is insects on food. If I've seen something land on it, I will not eat it. It's just gross. Not to mention my severe phobia of bees/wasps/hornets/bumblebees/yellow jackets/etc. If they are near me long enough, I have panic attacks.

By the time we got home, I felt dirty and like I'd never be the same again. One shower later and I still feel them crawling on me. Maybe I need therapy...again.

Stop Sinking My Ships Or I'll....Go Back To Sleep!

During this period of complete lack of motivation, good food, and intelligence, I've felt the need to channel my inner sloth. It was Independence Day yesterday. Aliens were getting pwned by computer viruses and Randy Quaid, Bill Pullman was making a sweet Presidential cameo, Will Smith was being Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum was being hot, as usual...complete badassery! And where was I?! I was off in Slumberland. Not the cool Slumberland, either. With Nemo and his shenanigans that set off a chain of events that lead to things that made me ruin my pants as a child. No, not that one. Oh, and if you know what I'm talking about here, we should consider marriage. Like, right now. Vegas, baby! The love of my life is married to someone that isn't me, so why can't I do the same? HA-HA!....*cries*
Anyway, my Slumberland consisted of a creepy house and not much else. It figures. So in my waking hours, I decided to wander back into my Yu Yu Hakusho fandom. When I was in middle school (and last summer), that show was like my life. The characters are REAL, man. STFU, they are too! Of course, I decided to fall for the one character that everyone else seems to find repulsive. I didn't want no stinkin' pretty boy Kurama, or Hiei. Vegeta does that personality type much better, so I'll just stick with him. I am quite fond of Yusuke, but I think my raging teenage hormones wanted something on a superficial level with him. That leaves one more main character: Kuwabara. He's the most manly of the group, and the most likely to be in the closet. I mean this in a loving way, as I have a slashy brain and think all men should be gay together. This leave me, a biological female, out of the equation, but I don't care. *hides stash of fanfiction that has myself paired with him lest I be called a steaming pile of hypocrite* I don't want to see him with Yukina. Ever. It's wrong, and it's boring. I'd rather see him with Yusuke. Again, I don't care if Yusuke is already tied to Keiko. Keiko can GTFO. It makes me sad that there isn't more love for the Kuwabara/Yusuke pairing. In fact, there's not enough love for Kuwabara, period. As usual with the men I fancy, he is vastly underrated. Sure, he may come off as an ignorant buffoon sometimes, maybe a little loud and obnoxious, but so was Billy Mays! Look at his fanbase, and he sold OxiClean, and various other household products. Kuwabara is a lover, a fighter, loyal to his friends even though they treat him like shit, and bringing the sexy like a mofo. Most people don't find him sexy, but I sure do. Gotta love the red curls. Red curls own me. I think it's because I want red curls myself. I was only able to get half of that magical combo. I am pathetic, I know. But I owe Kuwabara SO much. He's the reason I started writing on a regular basis. Hooray for crappy teenage-angst-inspired fanfiction drivel! He made me take my own honor code more seriously. Maybe TOO seriously. And the most important thing of all: it's thanks to Kuwabara that I was introduced to my favorite band, Oingo Boingo.
Yes, that poster in the background! It's a modified version of the album art for Good For Your Soul. An outstanding Boingo album, so Kuwabara's got some seriously awesome taste. What I find really funny/creepy about this is that I'm a redhead, the two boys in the picture are redheads, and Danny Elfman is a [HOLYCRAPGORGEOUS!] redhead. Coincidence? We be takin' over da world. In fact, my YYH obsession ended because I fell head-over-heels in love with Danny/Boingo. Really, it was a long time coming. The Simpsons was my first favorite show and Tim Burton's movies had been giving me kickass nightmares for years. But Kuwabara is responsible for the past year's crazy Elfmania. The crazy Elfmania is why I just spent a billion dollars on a plane ticket to LA (my intentions are pure! I ain't a stalker, people.) Thank you, Kuwabara. Thank you for being you and causing me to fall for a redhead that is actually not an anime character. I am a little less pathetic now. Redheads FTW, live long & prosper, Semper Fi...whatever.

J-Gold, However, Is NOT Dead. A Moment of Celebration and Many Huzzahs, Please!

Why y'all gotta be bringin' Mr. Goldblum into the death stories, huh?!

By now I've made it obvious that I harbor a soft spot for the man. Of course, the idiots who started that rumor don't know that, but that is beside the point. I could have jumped off a bridge in extreme grief, had I not known it was a rumor.

Granted, the only bridge around here goes....into a pond....and is about six feet off the ground or something. I wouldn't die, I'd just go for a nice swim in duck excrement. Nice. I like to see me try to explain that one to my housemates.

"Why am I wet and covered in suspicious substances? Well...um...DIDN'T YOU HEAR?! WE LOST JEFF, DAMMIT!!!" *sobs uncontrollably* "A-And, I-I...just c-can't go OOOOOOOOOON!"

Then they'd be like, "You jumped off the bridge in the park, didn't you? You do know that's a rumor, right? He's fine. In fact, we've invited him over for dinner."

Jeff comes out, sees me like that, and my chances to date him are completely shot. All because of stupid rumors.

The moral of the story is: Don't start death rumors about men I fancy, or my life will be ruined and I will come after you. The end.

What Would Drunk Brundlefly Do If He Was In My Room?

The fact that Jeff Goldblum knows about his evil twin, the infamous Drunk Jeff Goldblum, and is as amused by it as I am makes me happy. In the pants. And in general.

Also, my goal in life is to destroy all flies because they made him look ugly (and they carry disease and make my life more difficult by coming into my room and raping my stuff). He's never ugly and is not supposed to be, you fiends! Don't make me go uber-ninja Obama on you, you nasty creatures!

I'm gonna be on PETA's Public Enemy #1 list soon enough.